E67 Ad
By Asher Miller
April 4, 2023
0:00 / 1:05
E67 Ad

Tired of a public education system that rewards mediocrity. Want little Junior to kick ass and forget names? Then why not send your future CEO to the only school system designed to turn Johnny into a Class AAA-rated corporate leader of tomorrow?

An education curriculum designed by legendary General Electric CEO Jack Welch. Your child will learn the most ruthless, cutthroat, and profit-maximizing schemes that made Jack the most venerated and feared corporate kingpin in America.

School philosophy is consistent from the classroom to the playground. 10% of kids are expelled each year for underperformance and instead of Commie-inspired games like running under the lofted parachute, your kid will be cutting the parachute cords with his ankle knife.

Jack Welch Charter Schools for Tomorrow's CEOs. Where sociopathy is not just normalized, it's rewarded.