Hi, Casey, here with another episode of how I edit, where I think allowed the editing process to give you some insight into how copywriters try and make. Their copy better. Today, we're going to talk about tone. And I have an excerpt from an ebook. So this is a section of an ebook. And we're trying to change the tone to be.
A little more conversation, more, a little more casual. You'll see. As you read through the section that there is a lot of vocabulary that isn't exactly. Conversational. For example, search online, assessing, Talking about having dedicated website. Using things in combination. Just, just things like that. First and foremost, this isn't really how most people talk.
So we have to update it to just flow a little more smoothly. Like someone is talking to the person. All right. So first things off the word, so is good for being conversational. We want to make sure we don't use it too often, but it is a word you can throw in from time to time. If you're looking to create copy that is casual and conversational.
So in this case, I'm going to keep the word so.
However, when we talk to people, We usually. Our very transitional and how we talk. So I want to add a transition here. I'm going to add. Transitional phrase.
Now I want to get rid of this part. Remember this first and foremost, this isn't how people talk. So I'm just going to shorten this street down to. First. Okay. So first the agent must know your area. Let's change this to ideal area. Look for someone with experience selling in your neighborhood.
And then we have start by asking for referrals. Well, this isn't what you would look for. This is what you have to do. So let me change this up. Let me out. Question questions can be very conversational. So I'm going to add a question. How do you find a local agent? That would be a better transition as well.
Instead of saying, start by asking for referrals. I'm just going to change it, to ask for referrals.
But who do we ask? For froze from, from neighbors or friends.