How I edit- Voice and Tone
By C Monroe
June 9, 2022
0:00 / 8:01

Hi, Casey, here with another episode of how I edit, where I think allowed the editing process to give you some insight into how copywriters try and make. Their copy better. Today, we're going to talk about tone. And I have an excerpt from an ebook. So this is a section of an ebook. And we're trying to change the tone to be.

A little more conversation, more, a little more casual. You'll see. As you read through the section that there is a lot of vocabulary that isn't exactly. Conversational. For example, search online, assessing, Talking about having dedicated website. Using things in combination. Just, just things like that. First and foremost, this isn't really how most people talk.

So we have to update it to just flow a little more smoothly. Like someone is talking to the person. All right. So first things off the word, so is good for being conversational. We want to make sure we don't use it too often, but it is a word you can throw in from time to time. If you're looking to create copy that is casual and conversational.

So in this case, I'm going to keep the word so.

However, when we talk to people, We usually. Our very transitional and how we talk. So I want to add a transition here. I'm going to add. Transitional phrase.

Okay.

Now I want to get rid of this part. Remember this first and foremost, this isn't how people talk. So I'm just going to shorten this street down to. First. Okay. So first the agent must know your area. Let's change this to ideal area. Look for someone with experience selling in your neighborhood.

And then we have start by asking for referrals. Well, this isn't what you would look for. This is what you have to do. So let me change this up. Let me out. Question questions can be very conversational. So I'm going to add a question. How do you find a local agent? That would be a better transition as well.

Instead of saying, start by asking for referrals. I'm just going to change it, to ask for referrals.

But who do we ask? For froze from, from neighbors or friends.

But do not let a single referral be the agent you use. Again, that's just sounds a little. Formal. I'm just going to go ahead and straight out. Cut it out. Because everyone's going to know different people that they trust for opinions.

So we don't need to add a number. Let's see, combine that with a search online assessing. Now we want to change this. That's. That's not very conversational. I don't want to put, fuck these words around. How do you combine that with an online search?

When we do an online search, we're going to be searching for the agent's portfolio and credentials. Anyway. Obviously they're going to be assessing it. We don't need to say it. I think that fixes it nicely. All right. So we need to get back to tips. Okay. Cause that's what this whole thing supposed to be about.

Is tips on what to look for. And here it says. Select at least three agents as your top choices, we need to tip. And what this is trying to say is, is this. That. Their personality has to gel with you. So I need to start with that. And I'm going to use a transition to be conversational. I may use next instead of second, when you do first, second, it's a little too formulaic. So I like to change it up.

So, so next we want to find someone. Whose personality. And style gel with you. I like that.

Sounds a little conversational. And then what does it mean to have someone whose personality and style gel with you? Let's see. Means. With real estate and mostly has to do with being with communication, how they interact with you and clients. So, let me give an example. I'm going to say, are you someone who wants daily updates?

Or.

Do you prefer. To only be bothered. Wind. When there's news.

Okay. I'm gonna use an if then if then can be conversational depending on how it's used. So if you want. I can take today if you want. Lots of communication.

But you pick someone.

With a differences style.

You'll end up disappointed. Okay. Using you directly addressing the reader again can be very conversational. So it's a good tactic to use. So we want to transition into, what they have to do to figure out if someone has the right personality to work with them.

So, instead of saying select at least three agents to be your top choices. I want to bring it back around to what they have to do, which is to meet with people. So let's say, the best way to assess. Personality is to meet in person. Select at least three agents. As your top choices. Yep. And set up a time to meet.

Okay. Now we have this section here, that's asking about specific questions. Interview questions that can be helpful. When. Interviewing agents ask questions about their sales history. I want to make this a little more conversational. I'm going to go back to the you tactic. I'm going to say.

You can use the interview.

To ask questions about their sales history. And then let's, let's change this into a bullet points to again, make it flow a little faster, feel a little more casual. So some questions you can ask. And I'm going to bullet point that.

How many houses did they sell? So, because these are more technical, we can bullet point them and it will make it flow a little better.

I don't really. Feel like that's relevant to how the market today. Alright, there we go. So now we have just a slightly different tone, trying to be a little more casual, a little more conversational. Again, some tactics you can use. Occasionally adding in the word. So asking some more questions.

Addressing the reader directly using that you, using transitional phrases, those are all things that can help make the tone a little more casual. A little more conversational. And then of course, watching out for vocabulary. Making sure the vocabulary is pretty simple. Sixth grade is, but you know, most people say.

Depending again. On your particular audience in this case, the. The Tony's do dress. Anyone who is a home buyer, which means a. Simpler vocabulary is probably the best bet. All right, that's it for now? I look forward to hearing your comments.